awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
