Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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