carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Randomize
