I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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