I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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