Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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