Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
