i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
