He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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