last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
