So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
