My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Randomize
