she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
