his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
