big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
