No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
