the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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