Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
