if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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