But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Betty ford says i'm here all night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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