But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
