I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
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It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
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I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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