I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We are two peas in an std pod
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
