I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I wish you could order shots online.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
