i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
