do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
