I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
