I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
