At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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