so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
