UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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