Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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