Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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