I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
