Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
