so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
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for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
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I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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