Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
