My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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