Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
