Nicole vs. Life
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
