Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
