Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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