There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
