Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
