that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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