I can tuck mytits in my pants
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
