i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
