Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I am midnight drunk by noon
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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