man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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