After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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