Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My penis needs a shock collar
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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