whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Girls should come with a carfax report
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
