physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...