Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.