do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
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Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
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I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.