Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
