Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
